Sunday, July 26, 2009
By the time you read this, you have probably already gotten a first hand run down of the trip since we've been home for a couple weeks now. But even so, I submit this final entry. I am reminded of all the faces of those precious people we served and those that we served with. The impact of the trip will be felt for a long time as we went to serve and bless, and were served and blessed instead.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
How do you know what to do with all this that God has exposed you to? How do you reconcile what you've seen here in Zambia with how you live back in the States? What do you do with the images of the precious faces of the children that have streaks left from tears, and streaks left from snot on them? How do you respond knowing that this will be the last day that a child will slip their hand into yours simply because they know you won't pull away. They know that for some reason you will even encourage it. For a few moments there is a connection that transcends 9000 miles or language. For a few moments it's just about the connection between two children created in the image of God. Many differences separate those two hands, but for a few moments they are connected and in a very special way and will be forever. But is there a way to reconcile the dirt, the hunger, the life and those eyes with the life we lived before we came, and the one that we will live when we return?
There are things that go beyond resolution. I don't know what to do with the brokenness. I don't know what God wants me to do with the brokenness. Coming and seeing it firsthand is the first step. What to do with what you've seen is the next.
This would be our last day to spend with the children, the women and the pastors and staff that support Wiphan-Zambia. Howard and Doris had the morning devotion and began by flipping through the pages of a book entitled "Zoom" by Istvan Banyai. The opening page had a picture of the cockscomb, the next page had a picture of a rooster that the cockscomb belonged to. And so, the pages continued to change the perspective of what you thought you were looking at. The rooster becomes part of a barn scene that becomes part of a stamp and the perspective changes to create a bigger picture. As much as we want to know the meaning of things we are not always shown the whole picture and how it all fits. Why would things we saw be allowed? Why would these things be shown to us and what do we do with what we've seen? Dot talked about Job and how he questioned God about the "why" of things that had happened and instead of giving Job answers, God begins this list of questions Himself which could be paraphrased as God saying "who are you to question me".
It is hard to experience what we experienced and not wonder where God is in it all. It is hard to hear that the mom and son, from the family we reached out to last Christmas, would soon lose their battles with cancer and die. It was hard to hear that the day that the rest of the team returned from Zambia that Labstone's father in law was killed in a car wreck and his mother in law was hospitalized. Or what about news of the 216 passengers on Air France flight 447 that went down a few months ago. Hunger, Poverty, War, Death. How can we reconcile any of it? Will shaking a fist in the face of God create a resolve? Would the answer we demand satisfy us? I can remember standing in a village in South Africa where the adult population was basically non-existent from the onslaught of AIDS and in tears asking the simple but loud question of WHY? What I heard was... so you would come, now, go and tell others.
We never know how in the world that God will use our obedience. Often it may look totally different than what we imagined. On Monday the ladies were given index cards with verses written in both our language, English, and in their language, Bemba. While these cards were intended to be a gift of encouragement to the ladies, God had other plans as well. The next day someone noticed a man in the compound that was looking through the cards and another man had his bible open and looked like he was guiding his friend though the Word and the cards were the catalyst that helped make that happen. It will be an equally amazing thing to see how God will use the lives of of all those on this trip and how they will impact the lives of those around them in their daily lives not to mention the lives of the women, children and men of all those lives that crossed our lives as we made our way from the Castle Lodge to the school and community at Sinia and the school and community at Mapalo and everywhere in between. Only God knows - seriously!
Job finds dillusionment with God's ways; Job 7:11-19, Job 9:13-10:17, Job 12:4-6, Job 16:6-17, Job 19:5-22, Job 21:7-18, 23-24, Job 24:1-17. Job pleas for God to answer his questions; Job 13:22, Job 31:35. But instead of getting answers to his questions, God poses 70 questions back at him. Worship should stem from an appreciation of God Himself, not a comprehension of all God's ways. [The Bible Knowledge Commentary] . Job is written in 42 chapters. For 37 Job suffers and his friends and even his wife get him to challenge the ways of God. And then GOD speaks in chapter 38
Job's first response when he has no answers is one of a sense of unworthiness but not one of repentence. Job 40:4-5 "I am unworthy - how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer - twice, but I will say no more."
In the end, we won't find the answers to the "why's". I think it is okay to ask, but in the end it comes down to trust. Do we trust God? Do we trust Him to do things that work out for Him? What happens when He does things in ways that are pleasing to Himself and not me? Is that okay? Do you trust Him?
Isaiah 55:8 "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD"
Until the next trip.....
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